Tips for Visiting a Loved One with Memory Loss

Visiting a loved one who is living with dementia can bring up a mix of emotions — love, sadness, uncertainty, and sometimes guilt. You may wonder what to say, how to act, or whether your visit even matters.

It does. Your presence brings comfort, even on the days when your loved one may not recognize you.

Here are some tips to help make visits more meaningful:

Before Your Visit

• Choose a good time. Many people with dementia do better in the morning or early afternoon. Ask the care staff when your loved one tends to be most alert.
• Bring something familiar. A favorite snack, a photo album, or a piece of music they love can spark connection.
• Set realistic expectations. Some visits will be wonderful. Others may be difficult. Both are okay.

During Your Visit

• Approach calmly. Smile, make eye contact, and introduce yourself by name. Even if they know you, it helps.
• Speak simply and slowly. Use short sentences. Ask one question at a time.
• Don't quiz them. Instead of asking "Do you remember...?" try saying "I was thinking about the time we..."
• Engage the senses. Hold their hand. Bring flowers to smell. Play music. Sensory experiences can be deeply comforting.
• Be present. You don't need to fill every moment with conversation. Sitting together quietly is meaningful too.
• Go with their reality. If they believe something that isn't accurate, it's usually kinder to go along with it than to correct them.

After Your Visit

• Don't be hard on yourself. If the visit didn't go as planned, that's okay. You showed up, and that matters.
• Talk to the care team. Let us know how the visit went. We can help you plan future visits that work well.
• Take care of yourself. Visiting can be emotionally draining. Give yourself grace.

At Golden Pines, we encourage families to visit often. Our staff is always here to help make those visits as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.